Tag Archive for: Advice

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Safeguarding Week- Setting Healthy Boundaries

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Setting healthy boundaries

It’s important to have healthy boundaries to make sure that others don’t take advantage of us, and we don’t neglect ourselves by doing too much for other people.

 

Think about what you need and want

Try to identify what you need from your friendships and relationships, how much alone time do you need? How do you prefer to spend time with people?

 

Think about if people would treat you like you treat them

Not all of the people in your life have to be someone you would do everything for. If someone wouldn’t dogsit for you, don’t feel like you have to babysit for them.

 

Don’t feel like you have to share everything

You don’t have to tell people things if you don’t feel comfortable. If someone asks you a personal question that you don’t want to answer, you can say “I don’t want to answer that.” Or change the subject.

 

Practice saying no to requests

Practice makes perfect. Practice in front of the mirror. “no I’m sorry, I can’t do that, I’m busy.” It doesn’t make you less friends with someone if you can’t do everything they ask.

 

Try to build your self-esteem

Doing things that make you feel good, such as exercise, learning new things, eating well, and getting enough sleep, will help you to feel better about yourself, and can help you improve your self esteem.

 

Get quality alone time

Try and spend quality time with yourself, doing something that you enjoy and makes you feel good about yourself will help you to appreciate yourself and stop seeing your value in what you do for other people.

 

 

Image of money bank pig

Safeguarding Week- Lending Money

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Lending Money

Often friends and family might ask if they can borrow some money from you, and this can put you in a difficult position. Here are some things to think about before giving money to other people.

Talk to a trusted adult

If anyone asks to lend money from you always discuss with a trusted adult. This could be your parent, carer, teacher, work colleague or partner.

Can I afford to lose that amount of money?

Sometimes, people borrow money and don’t pay it back. This can be very disappointing, and can make life very difficult, especially if you lent someone a large amount. If you don’t think that you could get by without the amount of money that someone is asking for, you shouldn’t lend them the money.

Would I be upset if I wasn’t paid back?

If you would be upset that you didn’t get the money back, don’t lend someone money, especially if you have lent them money before that they haven’t repaid, as this can be a sign that they are unlikely to pay you back.

Could I help this person in another way?

There are many ways you could help a friend for free, such as assisting them with tasks around the house, making them food, or even just being there to listen if they need to talk.

How do I build boundaries?

It’s important to build up boundaries with people in our lives so that they don’t take advantage of us or make us feel uncomfortable. It’s okay to say no to things. It could also be helpful to practice saying no to small things so that it’s easier to say no to bigger things.

 

Purple thumbnail with firework art

Tips for a SEN Friendly Bonfire Night

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Bonfire Night

Bonfire night can be lots of fun, but it can also be a great cause of stress for autistic people. It’s normal if you feel a little overwhelmed by
it.

Here are some tips to help.

Research the events
If you want to attend a local firework display or bonfire, it’s useful to know what to expect. Some events might have a “quiet zone” which you could ask to use, where there will be fewer crowds. It’s also useful to know what time fireworks will start so you are ready for them, and not surprised by the sounds and lights of fireworks, whether you choose to watch from home, go to a local event, or hide under a blanket.

 

Coping with sensory issues
Fireworks can be very loud and you may need to wear headphones or earplugs to help cope with this. If the fire is too bright, sunglasses can help with this. Make sure to wear warm and comfy clothes if you are going outside.

 

Distract yourself

If you hate the sounds of fireworks, you might find it useful to watch your favourite TV show or listen to your favourite music a bit louder than normal, to hide the noises you don’t like. This can also help you to feel a bit calmer as you are doing something you like.

 

Have a safe space

If you find fireworks scary, you might want to make an extra cosy space in your home. Think about if you have a good blanket or any sensory items that make you feel safe or a pet you can cuddle.

 

Meet Tom : My Journey

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Tom, accesses MAIN’s Adult Post Diagnostic Support Service in County Durham and has been on a journey the past year

 

I am Katherine and I have the pleasure to share Tom’s achievements. When I first spoke with Tom and his Mum in August 2023, Tom was on the start of his new adventure, he was due to start as an intern at Locomotion in Shildon. Tom was extremely nervous about the change to his routine but he was also very excited, as Locomotion is one of his favourite places to visit and the prospect of seeing the places that visitors were not allowed access to excited Tom even more. I think it is fair to say that Tom loves trains. Tom had been given a support worker to help him throughout the day alongside his time at Locomotion, Tom was expected to attend college.

 

The idea of college was very scary for Tom as again this would be a new routine for him, however, the taxi drivers had introduced themselves prior to the start of term and Tom knew the person he was due to share the taxi journey with so this had made things a little easier. All these little adjustments were exactly what Tom needed to help with his anxiety. At the start of the college term Tom was met at the taxi and aided into the college. After some time, Tom was expected to get out of the taxi himself and make his way to the meeting desk in reception, although this made Tom extremely anxious after the first few times he began to feel less so, little by little Tom was gaining his confidence. He even began to send little emails to his grandparents and other friends and family to help him gain even more new skills, this is a massive achievement as Tom admits that he does not really like computers.

 

Tom should be very proud of himself as he has achieved so much in such a short space of time and even though there have been a few bumps in the road, his new routine was beginning to work for him.

 

His time at Locomotion began by the organisers building Tom’s day up slowly, Tom began litter picking and cleaning and tidying the shelves in the gift shop, opportunities for helping on the trains began to appear and with the prospect of helping to polish the brasses and painting the trains came along with helping with the electrics on the trains as well.

 

Tom volunteering in the shop and tidying the stock on shelves Making sure the shop is clean and tidy

Fast forward to May 2024 and Tom has travelled home on the bus from his grandparents, independently. Tom is very proud of this achievement and so are his family. When Tom left school and college Mum had no idea what could be next for Tom, there was very few opportunities available to him at the age of 21 and Mum knew that she only wanted what was best for Tom so when the opportunity of the internship came about Mum could not have been happier. She has watched Tom thrive and grow into the amazing young man he is today. Tom has even started to problem solve for himself. Tom I will never again mention the iron brew in your college bag.

Quote from Tom – The best part of volunteering at Locomotion is that I love being here and being part of something where I can talk to people about trains which are a big part of my life and I can work in the shop and I also get to work on the trains

Tom stood next to a train at ShildonTom standing near his favourite train 

We asked Locomotion for some feedback:-

We’re delighted that Tom has chosen to volunteer at Locomotion. It has been great to see him develop his confidence, skills and experience over his time with us, and we look forward to continuing to work with him into the future. Volunteering is vital to the visitor experience at Locomotion, and anyone wishing to find out more should please contact our volunteer manager.

 

I think we can speak on behalf of a lot of young people and their family’s accessing MAIN, that there are opportunities like those experienced by Tom, and we hope that this story empowers you to start your own journeys.

A note from Mum – “We are extremely proud of Tom, his achievements and the amazing progress he has made so far.  We are very grateful to Houghall and to MAIN for their tremendous support and to Tom’s colleagues at Locomotion, who continue to guide him and inspire him to reach his goals. They have made him feel so welcome and have given him the confidence to succeed.  We hope that Tom’s journey helps others to realise that they can fulfil their ambitions and have a positive and bright future “.

Happy Halloween with cats and pumpkins

SEN Friendly Halloween

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Happy Halloween

Having a Happy Halloween

 Halloween can be lots of fun, but sometimes it can be overwhelming, especially when you hear about what everyone is doing for Halloween. Here are some tips for managing this time of year.

 

Decorate how you like

It’s up to you whether or not to decorate. If you don’t like scary things or pumpkins, that’s totally fine. Lots of decorations can sometimes be stressful to look at. You might prefer paper decorations to flashing lights or pumpkins, or prefer to not decorate at all.

 

Keep Costumes Comfy

If you choose to dress up for Halloween, try to wear something that you like and won’t cause sensory issues. It’s okay for your costume to be built out of what’s already in your wardrobe.

 

No knocking

If you would be upset or bothered by trick or treaters, put a sign up to let people know not to knock on your door. You can make your own sign, look online for one, or even get one from MAIN.

 

There are no rules of what to do

You might hear of lots of people doing Halloween-y things that sound terrible to you, but remember, you can do whatever you want. If you want to go trick or treating, go to a party, or stay home and chill, that’s all okay. If pumpkins aren’t your thing, don’t do them. If you want to ignore Halloween altogether, it’s totally fine.

 

If you are trick or treating

  • Plan your route – it’s easier if you know in advance where you will go so you don’t have to worry or make decisions on the night.
  • Plan some familiar houses (e.g. neighbours you get on with, friends, family ect.)
  • Plan when you can eat the sweets – maybe one or two treats a day instead of all at once, to have something to look forward to.